


Electrical Storm

by unfolded73



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Queer Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73
Summary: David takes the "How Electric Is Your Relationship" quiz and happily reminisces, until he sees his score.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 88
Kudos: 461





	Electrical Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This started with a spreadsheet (for the relationship quiz questions) and ended as an excuse to write quite a lot of porn. So enjoy.

“So what are you and Patrick up to tonight?” Stevie asked as David milled around the office, flipping through the faded travel brochures that he was pretty sure no one had touched since before the Roses first arrived in Schitt’s Creek.

“Nothing. We’re not seeing each other tonight,” David said. He pulled out a pamphlet advertising _“The world’s deepest base metal mine below sea level!”_ and grimaced at the idea that anyone would consider that a tourist attraction.

“You’re not seeing each other tonight,” Stevie repeated, not exactly with surprise in the classical sense because Stevie’s scale of emotional expression was different from other people’s, but David recognized it as surprise. 

“I don’t spend every evening with Patrick,” he said indignantly. 

“You don’t?”

“You _know_ that I don’t. For one thing, I don’t have that high a tolerance for Ray.” 

“Well, I just know that usually if I actually want to see _my best friend_ , I have to go to your store. And I know that Ray told Bob who told Roland that you sleep over there a lot. So.”

“Great to know that the whole town is discussing where I’m sleeping,” David sniffed, moving over to the magazine rack.

“Does that honestly surprise you?”

“No,” he answered with a sigh, pulling out a copy of Major Lady Magazine that promised an interview with Kim Basinger and to reveal the secrets of ‘The Nineties Man’. _Good god, where did Dad find these ancient magazines?_ “Anyway, is this your way of saying you want to hang out tonight?”

“To be honest, I’ve worked a bunch of long shifts over the last several days and I’m pretty sure I’d just end up falling asleep on you if I tried to hang out with you tonight,” Stevie said.

“And this sweater won’t survive your drooling,” David said. “Okay, let’s make an actual plan to do something next weekend, just you and me.”

“You mean, go _out_? And do things? Like actual human beings?” Stevie wrinkled her nose.

David shrugged. “Or we could get high and watch movies.”

“That sounds more like our speed.”

“Friday?”

Stevie nodded, lips pinched together like she was hiding a smile. “Sure.”

David smiled back because it felt really good to have a best friend, just like it felt really good to have a boyfriend. Even on boring evenings like tonight when he didn’t have anything interesting to do, he was starting to learn that he was happier than he’d ever been in his old life. 

He was thinking so much about how much he loved Stevie and how much he loved Patrick that he didn’t realize he was still carrying the women’s magazine from summer 1991 until he was back in his room. He started to toss it on the dresser, but then noticed one more thing on the cover.

_**How ELECTRIC is your Relationship? Take our quiz and find out!**_

David smirked. His relationship with Patrick was very electric. He’d destroy a quiz like that, heteronormative though it would certainly be. Flipping past ads for cheap perfume and makeup that really made you realize that 1991 looked more like the 80s than it did the 90s, he located the table of contents and then the quiz. Settling down on his bed, he grabbed the pen that was stuck between pages of his journal and set to work.

> _Question 1: When you get it on with your man, how long does the fun last?_  
>  _A. A few minutes at best (1 point)_  
>  _B. Until he’s done, but I’m often left lying there unfulfilled (2 points)_  
>  _C. Until we’re both satisfied, however long that takes (5 points)_  
>  _D. All night long! (7 points)_  
> 

_‘Get it on,’_ David thought. _Ew._ The phraseology in this magazine quiz left a lot to be desired. Also, going all night long was overrated and usually required pharmaceutical intervention. He circled C and moved on to the next question.

> _Question 2: What’s you and your man’s favorite place to do the nasty other than the bedroom?_  
>  _A. I really prefer the bedroom (2 points)_  
>  _B. The shower (4 points)_  
>  _C. The kitchen table (5 points)_  
>  _D. Literally anywhere (7 points)_  
> 

Okay, well, he _did_ prefer the bedroom, and having sex anywhere that people eat was incorrect. But the shower could be awfully nice, he thought, circling B.

~~~

“Sometimes I suspect you like being over here as much to use the shower as to go to bed with me,” Patrick said, leaning against the bathroom sink and watching David test the temperature of the spray. Ray was hosting an open house for a farmhouse property he was trying to sell, the store was closed today, and they had the house to themselves for four whole hours. David was a little frustrated that they’d already napped away almost an hour of their time together, but sometimes falling into a sex coma after a really spectacular orgasm was irresistable. 

“I’ve explained to you about the water pressure at the motel. Also, you got me very dirty,” David said with a leer and a shimmy of his hips. He knew he probably looked ridiculous, moving his body like that when he was naked, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Patrick grinned, shifting away from the sink and close to David to kiss him. “Yeah, I suppose I did.”

When the water was warm enough, Patrick followed David into the shower, and it didn’t take long for the process of getting cleaned up to devolve into sloppy kisses and roaming hands. Patrick dropped to his knees, sucking a bruise into David’s hip, hand coming up to caress his balls before moved up to his cock, already getting impressively hard given that they’d had sex an hour ago. 

Patrick looked up at him, water droplets caught in his eyelashes. “David. You’re so beautiful.”

David swallowed, unable to speak, and ran his hand over Patrick’s hair, caressing the shell of his ear with his fingertips. He still wasn’t used to this, to the fact that sex with Patrick was about so much more than two bodies seeking pleasure. He was overwhelmed a lot of the time by their easy intimacy, with no idea how to contain it. 

Patrick’s mouth took over from his hand, thumb pressing against the hickey as he his lips closed around David’s cock. He employed every trick he knew, every trick he’d learned over the months they’d been together, and unraveled David surprisingly quickly. David let his head drop against the tiled wall as he groaned and came in Patrick’s mouth. 

~~~

David shook himself from his shower reverie and continued with the quiz.

> _Question 3: Do you and your man schedule times to get it on?_  
>  _A. No, but only because it rarely happens anymore! (1 point)_  
>  _B. Yes. Once a week like clockwork (2 points)_  
>  _C. We’ve been known to schedule it, but we have spontaneous sex too (5 points)_  
>  _D. We’re spontaneous, and we take every opportunity to get in each other’s pants (8 points)_  
> 

David hesitated, his pen moving back and forth between C and D. They did schedule sex occasionally, but only because of Ray’s poker night. But then there were the times they’d been so desperate for each other that they’d ended up in the storeroom five minutes after closing, almost feral with the desire to get under each other’s clothes. When they’d been willing to risk very quiet handjobs in David’s tiny bed while Alexis was out, even though his parents were just on the other side of a thin wall. Of course, that didn’t happen as much these days as it had when they’d first gotten together, so perhaps ‘every opportunity’ was giving them a bit too much credit.

He marked C, but reserved the right to come back and change it later.

> _Question 4: How good are you and your man at phone sex?_  
>  _A. I can’t imagine either of us saying that stuff out loud! (1 point)_  
>  _B. We tried it once but we weren’t very good at it. (2 points)_  
>  _C. I let him talk dirty to me on the phone but I’m not great at reciprocating (4 points)_  
>  _D. We’re both great at dirty talk over the phone; it’s a fun part of our relationship (7 points)_  
> 

David grinned and marked D. One result of their shortage of privacy was how skilled they had gotten at talking each other off.

~~~

“Are you sure Alexis isn’t going to walk in on you?” Patrick said, and David pressed the phone harder against his ear and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Please don’t mention my sister while I’ve got my dick in my hand,” David said. “She’s out on her run. We have time.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to fuck me, David?”

“Mm hmm.”

“How?”

“I’d turn you over, put you on your knees and elbows so that your amazing ass is on display for me,” David murmured, his other hand wrapped tight around his cock, slick with lube, moving slowly enough to keep pace with where they were in the narrative.

“Would you open me up for you?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah. Yes. I’d rub your back, get you relaxed, then I’d finger you open until you made that noise.”

He heard Patrick snort out a little breathless laugh. “I make a noise?”

“When you can’t take it anymore, when you’re so ready for me to be inside you that you can barely stand it, and your thighs are shaking and you’re starting to sweat, you make a noise.”

Patrick made a noise now, a little gasping moan. It wasn’t _the_ noise, but it was very gratifying nonetheless. “And then you’d fuck me with that cock.”

David hummed. “Maybe,” he teased.

“David—”

“Yes, I’d fill you up just the way you want, so deep inside, and then when you were ready for me to, I’d start moving—”

“Fuck me hard, David.” He was panting, really into it now, probably stroking himself faster. David listened to hear the sound, the slick sound of Patrick jerking off. Fuck, that was so hot when he could hear the sound of it. 

“I’d fuck you so hard that you’d have to grab the headboard, one hand on the bars and the other on your cock, and my hands are on your hips and I’m filling you up, making you feel so good.” David thrust his hips up into his own fist, imagining it, Patrick debauched on those floral sheets of Ray’s, desperate to come.

“Yes, you feel so good, fuck, you make it so…” Patrick trailed off into an unintelligible groan, and that was an easy sound to interpret too, the way he sounded when he came. David could almost taste it on the back of his tongue when he heard Patrick’s voice like that, broken and blissed out.

“I’m gonna come in you,” David mumbled, hand working quickly on the head of his own cock. “You’re so tight, so wet and tight and, god, clenching me, uhhh…” He dropped the phone and cupped his other hand over the head of his cock to keep the mess to a minimum as he orgasmed. After he’d finished, David lay there for a second, staring at the ceiling, breathing hard. Then he grabbed some tissues, wiped his hands off and picked up his phone. 

“Hey.”

“You good?” Patrick asked.

“Mmhmm. You?”

“I’m good.” He sighed. “Let’s do that for real very soon, though.”

“Yeah.”

~~~

> _Question 5: Have you and your man ever engaged in a little afternoon delight during work?_  
>  _A. Doing anything like that during working hours would be wildly unprofessional. I would never. (1 point)_  
>  _B. I would, but we’ve never had the opportunity. (3 points)_  
>  _C. Once or twice, but I was worried we would get caught (5 points)_  
>  _D. Not only have we had sex in the office, but we’re sort of famous for it. (8 points)_  
> 

“Ugh, so stupid,” David muttered. For two people who had fooled around in the back room of their store as much as Patrick and David had, he deserved maximum points on this question. They shouldn’t have to be ‘famous for it’ to get the highest points — that just showed indiscretion and probably would lead to people getting fired. He reluctantly circled C.

> _Question 6: How often do you and your partner enjoy dirty movies together?_  
>  _A. Never. I would be too embarrassed! (1 point)_  
>  _B. I would, but I’m afraid to ask my man about it (2 points)_  
>  _C. We did a couple of times, but I wasn’t really into it (3 points)_  
>  _D. We’ve enjoyed dirty movies together (6 points)_  
> 

David smirked at the phrase ‘dirty movies’ as he circled D. In other words, did they watch porn together — probably not as unusual an activity today as it was might have been in 1991.

~~~

David looked up at Patrick over the top of Patrick’s laptop screen and waggled his eyebrows. 

“What?”

“Your porn bookmarks aren’t very well hidden, Patrick.”

“Who do I need to hide them from? No one else uses my laptop except you,” Patrick said, setting his guitar aside to come sit on the bed next to David. “And I thought you were checking the online orders for the store, not looking for porn.”

“I _was_ checking the online orders,” David said, clicking on one of the pornhub links. Based on the titles, it was pretty vanilla stuff from what David could see. “Oh, this guy’s hot,” he said, pointing to the man who was stroking himself on screen. 

“Kind of reminds me of Jake, now that you mention it,” Patrick said.

“Ew, he looks nothing like Jake,” David said, giving his boyfriend a side-eye. “Is that why you…”

“No, I prefer the other guy.” Patrick pointed, and they watched in silence for a couple of minutes.

“Well, he certainly deep throats like a pro,” David commented. 

“Exactly, it’s very aspirational.”

David shifted back and forth, feeling a little turned on but also uncomfortable with the turn this had taken. “You know you don’t need to… what you do is good. It’s excellent. Porn is, you know, it’s not real—”

“I know, David.” Patrick kissed him on the cheek. “You don’t need to explain that to me.”

“You’re great at blow jobs!” David blurted. “It’s important to me that you know that you’re great at them. That’s all.”

“Well, I hoped so, given how often you come in my mouth. It seemed like I was doing something right.”

David closed the computer and set it aside, pulling Patrick into his arms. “You do everything right.”

~~~

> _Question 7: Have you ever incorporated food into your sexy time with your man?_  
>  _A. No, it’s way too messy. (1 point)_  
>  _B. We tried it but we didn’t like it much. (2 points)_  
>  _C. Sure, for a special occasion we might bring some honey into the bedroom. (4 points)_  
>  _D. There’s no body part I wouldn’t eat whipped cream off of! (6 points)_  
> 

David rolled his eyes and groaned out loud in annoyance. Incorporating food into sex was what magazines like this thought passed for kinky, because you weren’t going to find questions about butt plugs or spreader bars on the pages of an early 90s women’s magazine. David loved sex and he loved food, but combining them wasn’t sexy. Whipped cream in bed just ended up smelling like spoiled milk after a couple of hours, and no one wanted that. He circled A and moved on.

> _Question 8: It might be a high school throwback, but getting busy in a car can add some spice to your relationship. Have you done that?_  
>  _A. Never. What if someone caught us? (1 point)_  
>  _B. We managed to get to second base once before we gave up because it was too uncomfortable (3 points)_  
>  _C. We had some fun in the backseat when we were younger, but now we have a bed. (4 points)_  
>  _D. The illicit thrill of sex in the car is worth the risk! (7 points)_  
> 

David circled D several times. At least there was one benefit to the fact that their living situations had forced them to make use of Patrick’s car for sex on several occasions.

~~~

“Ow.”

“Sorry.”

“You kneed me in the—”

Patrick kissed him, his hand coming down to stroke David’s abdomen where his knee had unfortunately ended up as he climbed over the center console. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” David whispered, reclining his seat back as far as it would go while Patrick produced a small bottle of lube from somewhere. “Let’s get this back on track.”

Patrick kissed him, deep and filthy, grinding against him with a roll of his hips, and David felt so desperate for it after the week they’d had that he thought he might spontaneously combust. Alexis had been constantly underfoot, as had Ray, and the storeroom was so packed with new merchandise that being in there just made David anxious about all the work that needed doing. 

“I want you so badly, I feel like I could come in my pants just from this,” Patrick murmured. Then they were frantically getting clothes out of the way, all groping hands and gasped breaths, kisses getting messier as they got closer to climaxing, as Patrick thrust against David’s bare stomach, whining, his hand working David’s cock clumsily at the same time. 

The sound of lubricated skin against skin was almost more arousing than being touched, and when David came, his hand flew out and hit the passenger window hard enough to bruise his knuckles, and when Patrick followed several seconds later, David was pretty sure his sweater had not been hiked up high enough to be spared from being ejaculated on. But then they were giggling into kisses, the damp air in the car stifling as they cleaned up and righted their clothes and continued to laugh. 

“That was ridiculous. We’re grown men,” David said.

“And when two grown men love each other very much, sometimes they have to come all over each other in the front seat of a Toyota,” Patrick said, awkwardly climbing back into the driver’s seat.

“Shut up.”

Patrick just grinned widely at him as he started the car.

“I love you, too,” David said.

~~~

> _Question 9: Have you ever done the nasty with your man in the great outdoors?_  
>  _A. Never! It’s too risky. (1 point)_  
>  _B. I might try it if I could guarantee no one would see us. (2 points)_  
>  _C. Yes, but the sand in uncomfortable places made it less than ideal. (4 points)_  
>  _D. All the time! There’s nothing like sex under the open sky. (8 points)_  
> 

Grimacing, David circled A. Never mind being seen, the risk from insects and spiders made outdoor sex a no-go for him. The fact that Patrick, who had grown up camping, never once suggested any activity to David requiring sleeping outdoors just went to show how well Patrick knew him.

> _Question 10: Do you dress up in sexy outfits for your man?_  
>  _A. No, it’s too embarrassing (1 point)_  
>  _B. I did once, but we’re too settled for that now (2 points)_  
>  _C. On special occasions, I might get into some lingerie (5 points)_  
>  _D. We regularly incorporate dress-up into our sex life (7 points)_  
> 

~~~

“I’ve never seen you wear this jacket,” Patrick said, holding the sleeve out from the motel room closet. 

David glanced over from where he was arranging his sweaters in the cedar chest. “I don’t think I’ve worn it since we started dating.” He knew he hadn’t, because David knew exactly the last time he’d worn it. It was the last time he’d had sex with someone who wasn’t Patrick. 

Patrick pulled the hanger off the rod to get a closer look at it. “It’s a nice jacket. Why don’t you wear it?”

“Of course it’s a nice jacket; it cost almost three thousand dollars,” David sniffed.

“Jesus.” Patrick held it away from his body carefully like it might bite him. 

“It’s Rick Owens,” David explained.

“I’ve heard of him,” Patrick said as he hung the jacket back in the closet.

“From me.”

Patrick walked over and kissed him. “Yes, from you.” Then kissed him again. “It’s a sexy jacket. I bet you look good in it.”

“I look amazing in it, that’s why I tended to wear it when I was trying to pick up a random,” David said. _Or have a revenge fuck with an ex_ , he didn’t add.

Patrick pouted. “You never wore it for me.”

“You were never a random,” David said, putting his arms around Patrick. “You’re someone I respect and love.”

“Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate you in that jacket.”

Which was why the next morning, David showed up for work wearing the leather jacket over a long sleeved white t-shirt, and it was a good thing the store was empty, because the look in Patrick’s eyes as his gaze raked over David was by itself indecent.

“Goddamn.”

“What?” David said innocently, going behind the counter to set his things down. 

“Please tell me you aren’t going to wear that all day,” Patrick said, reaching down to adjust the front of his jeans, which made David’s smirk hard to contain.

David stepped further back into the storeroom to grab a box of the shampoo; he’d noticed some gaps on the shelf as he came in. He didn’t even manage to pick up the box before Patrick had followed him and was pressed up against his back. 

“You look so fucking sexy,” Patrick breathed.

“Mmm, do I?” David asked.

“You knew this would drive me crazy.”

“I might’ve had a suspicion.”

Patrick’s hips pressed against David’s ass. “I just want to bend you over and—”

“Not during store hours, honey,” David said, stepping away and picking up the box of shampoo.

“You’re a fucking tease.”

David kissed Patrick on the cheek as he went by. “Love you, too.”

They were extremely busy that day. There was a chocolate festival in Elm Valley that weekend, and thanks to Patrick’s idea to pay to be one of the festival sponsors, the Rose Apothecary name was emblazoned on a lot of the festival advertising. It paid off. There was no time for flirting on the floor and stolen kisses in the storeroom. They couldn’t even eat lunch together. But it didn’t mean that David didn’t catch Patrick staring at him a few times during the morning as he was ringing up a customer or restocking the merchandise.

When they finally saw the last customer out, twenty minutes after closing time, David was exhausted. He’d also shed the leather jacket hours ago because it had gotten too warm to wear it, so his naughty plans from that morning were mostly forgotten. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes.

“I think we might have broken our single day sales record,” Patrick said as he totalled up their take for the day. “How should we celebrate?”

“I can open some wine,” David suggested. 

“Wine sounds great,” Patrick said, focused on going through the credit card receipts. 

When David approached with two full glasses, Patrick took one with an inscrutable look on his face and clinked the glass against David’s. “To a successful day.”

“Mmm,” David murmured in agreement, taking a sip of wine. 

“There’s one more thing we need to do, though,” Patrick said.

David looked around at their decimated stock and at the floor, filthy from all of the day’s foot traffic. “There’s a lot of things we need to do.”

Patrick sidled up close and put his mouth next to David’s ear. “Perhaps so, but first I need you to go in the back and put that jacket on. I’m going to fuck you while you’re wearing it.”

David’s dick reacted like it had been touched. “Patrick Brewer, I can’t believe you just said that.” He couldn’t stop himself from grinning widely at his boyfriend while he took another sip of wine.

“Now, David,” Patrick said, taking him by the shoulder and sort of shoving him toward the curtained off area, because he knew how much David liked it when Patrick manhandled him.

Shooting Patrick one more grin, David went back into the storeroom. He set his wine glass down on a shelf and picked up the coat, sliding his arms through the leather sleeves. This jacket had seen him through club openings and drug binges and a literal orgy. He’d worn it on some of the worst nights of his life, more of them than he could probably remember. He hadn’t consciously realized he’d retired it until Patrick asked him about it. Nonetheless, he found that it didn’t hold any power for having been with him during that time of his life. Now it was just a jacket that turned his boyfriend on, and David was happy for it to be that and nothing more.

Patrick came in and his expression had shifted. “Is this okay?” he asked softly. “Can I…”

David nodded. “I’ll use the safe word if you go too far. But you won’t.”

Wrapping his arms around David, Patrick’s hands slid down the back of the jacket to settle on David’s ass as he leaned in and kissed him, biting David’s lower lip hard enough to hurt. “Do you know what it was doing to me this morning, watching you walk around the store in this?” he murmured against David’s mouth.

“Tell me.”

“It made me want to devour you,” Patrick said, and then, as good as his word, he dropped to his knees and began unbuttoning David’s jeans. 

David was only half-hard when Patrick took his cock in his mouth but it took almost no time before he was fully erect, gasping and clutching for the wall as Patrick’s fingernails sank into the swell of his ass and as he sucked expertly at David’s length. Too soon, he stopped, letting David’s cock slide from his mouth. Standing back up, Patrick guided David over to the table they used to unpack boxes, which thanks to the rush on the store today was mostly empty. “Bend over,” he said, pushing hard on David’s back. A thrill ran up David’s spine as he obeyed.

“Patrick, fuck,” he whined as Patrick kicked at the instep of one of David’s shoes until his legs were spread as wide as his pants would allow. David heard the snap of a cap of lube open and close, and then Patrick’s fingers were on him. The preparation he did for David was perfunctory at best, and it burned just a little when Patrick was pressing his cock inside, quicker than he ever had before. It didn’t stop David from pushing back, taking Patrick harder, faster, until he was buried deep.

“Tell me when I can—”

“You can,” David gasped. “You can move.”

Patrick’s thrusts were hard, making David’s hip bones collide painfully with the wood, and he reached out and braced himself by clutching the edge of the table. 

“You love getting fucked, don’t you,” Patrick almost snarled, feral and dominant and it was very possibly the hottest thing David had ever experienced.

“I love it,” he groaned. “I love your cock.”

“Take it,” Patrick gritted out, his hips thrusting and the table shifting enough to rattle the bottles inside an unloaded box. “Take my cock.”

David was too distracted by how hard Patrick was fucking him, by the noises he was making, to even give any thought to his own cock, and before David knew it Patrick was groaning beautifully and pulsing inside him. As he was coming down, as Patrick’s softening cock was sliding out of David, as he felt wetness dripping down his inner thigh, Patrick somehow had the presence of mind to reach around with a slick hand and pump David’s cock, a quick and dirty handjob that worked surprisingly quickly.

After they had cleaned up as much as they could and made themselves reasonably decent, Patrick was full of soft kisses for David. “Thank you. That was amazing. Thank you.”

David smiled. “I’m glad you like the jacket.”

~~~

David circled D. Maybe it was a little bit of a cheat — they didn’t _regularly_ incorporate dress-up. But he felt like he deserved a couple of extra points for how hot that afternoon with the jacket had been.

He totalled up his points (48) and flipped the page to see what his score meant.

_Results:_

_**11-30 points: Total power failure!** You and your man need an emergency infusion of electricity into your relationship, or you risk losing him to a woman who can really blow his fuses!_

David rolled his eyes at the pun and at the heteronormativity. He had way more points than that, anyway, he thought smugly.

_**31-58 points: In Need of a Generator.** Your relationship with your man has some juice going to it, but you could stand to turn the power up. Try to be more adventurous together!_

_**59-71 points: Electrical Storm!** Your relationship is so hot that it’s in danger of setting the house on fire! That man of yours better appreciate what he has in you!_

“What the fuck,” David said. _In need of a generator??_

“Fuck that,” he said, turning back and going through the questions again. He changed his answers for questions 3 and 5 to D, and for good measure changed his answer to the question about having sex outdoors to B. Maybe, for Patrick, he would be willing to risk a June bug attack and have sex outdoors. But only because of how much he loved Patrick.

He totalled up his points again and got 55, then checked the last page one more time.

In need of a generator.

He threw the magazine on the floor.

~~~~~~

“Feeling better?” Patrick asked when David emerged from the bathroom in a pair of comfortable sweats, freshly showered. Patrick was stretched out on David’s bed in the motel, watching TV. 

“To be honest, I still feel a little like I’m walking on shaky logs suspended in the air.” He looked around. “Where did Alexis go?”

“She felt so bad about this afternoon that she and Ted collected your parents and they left to see a movie in Elmdale,” Patrick said, switching off the television.

“Alexis… _and my parents_ … are in Elmdale,” David said.

“Yep.”

“For hours.”

“Yep.”

“We have this room all to ourselves. With no one next door to barge in on us.” David was trying to restrain himself from grinning like a lunatic, but it was a failing endeavor.

“That’s correct,” Patrick said, coming over and wrapping his arms around David. “So if you feel like we’re capable of generating some excitement—”

“I said I was sorry about that—”

“I know,” Patrick said, kissing him.

“I’ve never been in a long-term relationship with someone before.”

“I know that.”

“So I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like,” David went on. “I started to worry that we don’t tear into each other in the back of the store as much as we used to.”

“David, I’m kind of glad that I’m not as obsessed with having sex with you as I was when we first got together. It was hard to think about anything else, which was kind of inconvenient since we were trying to get the store off the ground.”

“It was really hot, though,” David whispered.

“Things between us are still really hot,” Patrick said, his hand cupping David’s cock through his sweats.

David looked back at his bed and sighed.

“I know, it’s a small bed,” Patrick said, reading his mind. “Hasn’t stopped us before.”

“Well, there was that time you tried to flip us over and we ended up on the floor,” David said as Patrick reached behind his back and pulled his own t-shirt off over his head. “And then my dad started shouting at us through the wall, asking if we’d broken something.”

“Only my dignity,” Patrick said as he shucked off his jeans. “So I won’t try that particular move.”

Once their clothes were off, they settled into bed, David spooning up against Patrick’s back. He kissed Patrick’s shoulder, arm wrapped around his midsection, and for a few minutes they just lay there and enjoyed being naked together. David was aroused but it was a distant thing. Mostly he was just enjoying the physical touch, the fact that he had someone he could be this intimate with. No magazine quiz could capture a moment like this. 

“Is it weird that I’d be equally happy if we just cuddled right now?” David asked softly, lips still trailing over Patrick’s skin. “I mean, that’s some kinky shit, right?”

Patrick laughed. “We can just cuddle if that’s what you want, David. It did occur to me that the adrenaline crash from the tree walk might have left you too tired for sex.”

He was tired, and he closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of Patrick’s back against his chest, his ass cradled in the bend of David’s pelvis, David’s knees pressed into the backs of his legs. 

“On the other hand, we’re alone. And fucking feels really good.”

“It does.”

David shifted his hips, his cock getting harder as he generated some friction between them. “Can I… can I just fuck your thighs? Just like this?”

Patrick gasped. “Yeah, that… yeah.” He reached over and pulled open the drawer of David’s nightstand, passing the lube he found back to David. 

David slicked himself and Patrick up and they shifted around a bit until it was perfect, until David could move easily back and forth, reaching around to stroke Patrick’s cock in time with his own thrusts. They kept things on a low simmer for a little while, David’s teeth scraping Patrick’s shoulder as he slowly fucked him.

“I love our relationship, too,” Patrick murmured, his head tilted back, his hand gripping David’s thigh. “I love watching you design things for the store. I love your complicated coffee order. I love your sweaters and your eyebrows and the way your hands move when you talk.”

David gasped, tears coming to his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Things accelerated then, David chasing his orgasm with sharper thrusts, Patrick clenching his thighs together and moaning as David stroked him in a tight fist. They came together, a gasping mess of limbs.

When their breathing finally slowed, Patrick murmured. “These sheets are ruined.”

“I’ll strip the bed and wash them before Stevie has to do it,” David said. He usually wanted post-coital clean up to happen immediately, especially when they were in danger of ending up glued to each other like this, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to move. He stroked Patrick’s arm. “Thanks for putting up with me today.”

“David, you’re the best thing that’s happened in my life. ‘Putting up with you’ isn’t ever what I would call it, even when you’re being a little ridiculous.”

David’s eyes squeezed shut, and he pressed his forehead against Patrick’s shoulder. “Okay. I love you.”

“And no more taking relationship quizzes, please?”

David sniffed. “I can’t promise that.”

Chuckling, Patrick peeled himself away from David and stood up, heading toward the bathroom. “Just for that, I’m taking the first shower. And I love you, too.”

David buried his face in his pillow and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://unfolded73.tumblr.com)


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